What's Love Got To Do With It?

I think that I want to say a little something about love and relationships vs. love in relationships.  For me, I have struggled with trying to define with what works for "me" without feeling like I'm circumscribing the standards of others in relationships to my own personal relationship.  While it's good to take advice (from those in "credible" relationships) it can be very tempting to try to mimick the actions of others to apply to one's own situation.  Sometimes, finding what works for one personally can be difficult as everyone has idiosyncratic elements that is not shared by anyone else on the face of this earth!  Personally, having no true model (or experience) of witnessing a  successful "BlackLove" relationship, I have grappled with trying to build a model that works; and it has NOT always been easy.  However, I refuse to use the lack of a successful "BlackLove"  relationship" model as an excuse to not try.  You always hear people say that "Black Love" is a beautiful thing (i.e. Jada Pinkett-Smith & Will Smith; Angela Bassett & Courtney Vance; Denzel Washington & Pauletta Pearson; and ultimately Barack & Michelle Obama).  However, do people really know the struggles that they overcame to make love work for them?  I want to hear your thoughts....what are some obstacles that you've overcome to make BlackLove (or love period) work for you???  Any advice to give.....I'm always listening.