"I Am Ready for Love. Why Are You Hiding From Me?"

So..........it's no secret that there appears to be a dearth of preferable life partners that are available to the Black women.  Or is that really the case?  What are some of the standards that Black women adopt when choosing life partners?  From what pool of "qualified applicants"  are they selecting?  I'm not sure, but I can certainly say that from my experience talking to some friends the trimmings seem to be pretty damn slim.

I can't speak for all my Queens, because everyone's journey to love is different,  but I know that I personally feel bad when talking to some of my girlfriends who don't necessarily understand where the "good" Black men are (because that's what they want---good Black men).  What makes it worse is that I honestly can't relate to their plight because I know now what it is to be in a relationship with a good Black man (although we are both far from perfect, but continuously strive to perfect our love nonetheless).  I can only provide my journey to love and the journey to meeting my King.

 I've never had a problem finding a man with whom to be in a relationship.  That was actually the problem.  I was desperately afraid of being alone and attached myself as a way to compensate.  Every relationship before "the one"  originated out of a mentality of lack.  I didn't want to be alone, and therefore sought the physical validation of romantic companionship.  I needed the physical validation of knowing that I was good enough for someone else; the physical validation of knowing that I was worthy enough in someone else's eyes.  However, until I ultimately addressed my issues of "lack" I always eventually tired of the person that I was involved with--always yearning for more, desiring more.  There was always a void that not even the illusory physical validation of being in a relationship would fulfill, and being in a relationship ALWAYS reflected this very fact!  But then again I was in my early twenties then.  The older I became the more comfortable I became in my own skin.  When I finally did have my "A-Ha" moment I genuinely set out to test my theory.  Could I be comfortable by myself?  Needing no relationship to validate my worth?

When I set out to test this theory it was like a burden had been lifted.  I wasn't "seeking" and could therefore be genuinely sought.  Don't get me wrong, there were times that I had to battle my old mindset of wanting to attach myself (because it was an old and comfortable mindset).  It's funny that even while "single"  I had a lot of fun because life was so new and fresh to me then.  I had recently graduated from college had begun making my imprint on the professional world, and had my best girl friends Tacarra and Shavonne, as roomates, to share my experiences with.  So when a new friend started consistently hanging out they were the first to find out all about him.............

                                                           (TO BE CONTINUED)